Why You Might Be Stuck With Money (And How To Break Free)

There’s a phrase I’ve come to believe deeply over the years: the truth will set you free… but first, it might make you uncomfortable. So today, let’s get a little uncomfortable together. Because I want to talk about why some people feel stuck with money - and how to get unstuck.

Money isn’t just math. It’s emotional. It’s psychological. It’s spiritual. It’s generational. And if we’re being honest, it’s also something most people never fully learn how to relate to in a healthy, productive way. Over the past 30+ years as a financial advisor, I’ve recognized financial patterns with clients, families, and even myself at times that work against us as we strive to reach our goals.  

Here are the big three:

1. Beliefs – Your Identity Dictates Your Capacity

If I could only give someone one financial tool for the rest of their life, it wouldn’t be a budget, or a stock tip, or even a long-term investment strategy.

It would be beliefs.

Because your beliefs shape your identity, and your identity sets the thermostat for your results.

Think of it like this: if your financial thermostat is set at 68 degrees, and life brings you a windfall, like a bonus, a sale, or a great investment outcome, you might hit 75 degrees for a while. But if your identity doesn’t grow to match that external gain, you’ll unconsciously bring yourself right back down to your set point. Spend more. Invest poorly. Self-sabotage. And before you know it, you're right back where you started – or maybe even worse.

What I’ve learned over the years is that most people don’t have a money problem, they have a story problem. They’re carrying limiting beliefs about who they are and what they deserve.

• “I’m not good with money.”

• “We’ve never had money in our family.”

• “I’m just trying to get by.”

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These sound like facts when you say them enough times. But they’re not facts. They’re only beliefs. And the beautiful thing about beliefs is that you can change them.

Start by being radically honest with yourself about where you are financially. Then, upgrade your mindset. Adopt new, more empowering beliefs. Your self-worth often walks hand-in-hand with your net worth. So, if you want to increase one, start working on the other.

2. Words – Money Speaks Its Own Language

Imagine walking into a courtroom where everyone is speaking legalese, or stepping into an operating room where every term is in medical shorthand. You wouldn’t understand a word of it – and more importantly, you wouldn’t trust yourself to operate or litigate anything.

That’s how most people feel when it comes to money.

Wealth has its own language. And if you want to become fluent in financial success, you’ve got to learn to “speak” wealth. That includes the basics, like assets, liabilities, compounding, cash flow, equities, and interest rates. But it also includes more advanced concepts like tax harvesting, passive income, debt leveraging, Roth conversions, risk tolerance, and market cycles.

Most people hear those terms and their eyes glaze over. But here’s the key: the more familiar the language becomes, the more confident you feel, and the better decisions you make. You don’t have to know everything, but you do need to understand enough to be an informed participant in your financial life, not just a bystander.

Think of it like traveling to a foreign country. If you know even a few key phrases, people respond to you differently. You engage more fully. You experience more. The same is true with wealth.

Learn the language. Speak it with confidence. And use it to open doors you didn’t even know existed.

3. Strategy – You Can’t Drive With the Gas and the Brake Pressed at the Same Time

Here’s something I see all the time: people get excited about growing their money, but just as they start to make progress, fear creeps in. So they hit the brakes.

The result? They end up driving their financial life like a car with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. Guess what happens to a car like that over time? The engine burns out. And your finances will too if you don’t start managing the flow of your energy, effort, and resources more intentionally.

Growth requires courage. But it also requires strategy. You’ll have to learn new concepts and learn to implement them in a disciplined way to reach the next level. Like I’ve heard Tony Robbins often say, “Knowledge is not power - it's only potential power.” Execution is what turns knowledge into results.

This is why tools and strategy matter. Without a system to guide your decisions, and someone you trust to direct you and hold you accountable, you’re relying on willpower alone. And as we all know, willpower is a terrible long-term strategy.

Having a strategy that requires you to take your foot off the brake at times doesn’t mean you’re going to be reckless. It simply means you’ll have the freedom to find the rhythm between risk and reward that is right for you. It means having a strategy for when to push forward and when to pause. It means having someone in your corner, like me, who is willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, because I care about you more than I care about just telling you what you want to hear.

So What Now?

If you’re feeling stuck financially, you’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just in need of a shift - a change that gets you moving in the right direction again.

But if you remember nothing else I’ve shared here, please remember this: nothing changes unless you change. And that change can be as simple as thinking like an architect instead of a firefighter when it comes to your money. Architects design. Firefighters react. It’s time to stop putting out money fires and start building the life you actually want… one decision at a time.

Whether you’re focused on legacy, lifestyle, impact, or all three, the path is the same: Clarify and elevate your beliefs; learn to speak wealth’s language; and follow a strategy that serves your best interests.

The best part about this is that you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help you build a financial life that feels empowering, abundant, and aligned with your values. So, let me know if you need any help and we’ll work together to develop a personalized gameplan that gets you moving forward again.